How I Stopped Letting Fear Stand in My Way – By Guest Blogger Theresa Martinez
Today’s post is by guest blogger Theresa Martinez. Theresa’s inspiring story will help you see how you can stop fear from getting in your way too.
For as long as I can remember I was an anxious person.
Growing up I used to be scared and nervous about everything and I just thought this was how everyone was?! Little did I know that I had let this thing called fear creep in and control my life over and over again. It wasn’t until my early twenties that I was finally able to give this obstacle a name – Anxiety. I was anxious about everything, new situations, the unknown, the future, what other’s opinions. You name it fear had a hand in it.
What did this look like?
Missed opportunities, turning down going to new places, meeting new people, anxious thoughts about the future, fear of putting my real self out there for the world to see and judge. The fear in my head would convince me each time that I wasn’t good enough and couldn’t handle the opportunities placed in front of me. And for so many years I believed those lies as if there was no other option.
Then one day I realized I had a choice in this, I had control over the course of my life and I was taking back the reigns. Here’s how I did it.
Saying No to Negative Self Talk
First I became mindful and began catching myself when the thought would enter my mind, ‘you can’t do that’, ‘no one will like that’ etc. Once I became more aware of the words I was using in my own mind I then caught them, took hold of them and looked deeply for the truth. Was it really that I couldn’t do this? Try a new job? Meet a new mom? Or was fear tricking me into thinking I wasn’t good enough. I started with simple positive self talk with things like ‘you can do this’, ‘you are enough’, ‘you got this’. The more I said it to myself the more I believed it and realized this was my real truth.
Using Detective Thinking
I put my detective hat on – was this fearful thought truthful and trying to protect me or really just trying to stand in my way. I would look at each though and ask myself ‘do I really need to be afraid of this?’ ‘Do I really need to be scared of talking in front of my colleagues?’ If the answer was no, I didn’t need to be scared. It was the fear that was making this hard on me and if I practiced and prepared this was something I could do. The difference between me and another person public speaking was they believed they could do it and I didn’t – this was all about to change.
Using Baby Steps
For those areas that did cause me anxiety. I took those on as challenges that I was going to conquer rather than mountains I was never going to be able to climb. I took away the fear of failure, failure wasn’t an option. The fact that I was even trying and putting myself out there and the growth I would gain was victory enough for me. Starting my own business, a few years ago there is no way I would have said yes.
So what I did was just take the next right step. I said small yeses along the way to get closer and closer to where I wanted to be. Less overwhelming but still very productive. I said yes to going live on FB. Then I said yes to starting an online group. Then I said yes to writing articles. One baby step at a time. Gaining confidence in each move forward and no longer room for fear to grab hold.
Now I call myself a fear warrior. I still conquer fear on a daily basis and am so proud of myself and where I have come from and more so where I will go. I stopped believing the lie fear whispered in my ear telling me ‘your’re not good enough’, ‘you can’t do that’. This fear warrior has only just begun and fear has no place on my journey.
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Theresa Martinez has the amazing job of working as a coach with busy mamas – helping them take care of themselves again, get rid of mom guilt and add fun back into their lives! She writes about self-care, balance, parenting tips, consistency and helping moms live the life they want (guilt free & full of joy). She is an absolute introvert mama to 4 busy kiddos. She loves reading, hallmark movies, baking & spending time with her hilarious family. Come hang out with her in her Facebook group – Transparency Come As You Are – a supportive space for real moms who share info, tips and encouragement.
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