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Have you found Mr. Right, or are you with Mr. Right now? The answer to this question is so deep, meaningful and paramount to your success.
I am not a professional therapist but I do have an incredibly successful and healthy relationship. Things were not always this way for me…
Before I met my husband I wasn’t worthy of him. I attracted losers because I had a loser mentality. I never even knew who I was or how awesome my life could be. I kissed a few mentally and physically abusive frogs before I met my prince.
Previously, I had absolutely no example of what a healthy relationship would look like.
I thought dysfunction was normal. It wasn’t until I set out on a journey and left everyone and everything I knew that I found myself and learned what a healthy relationship was.
I attracted the wrong guys, and even if they wouldn’t have been so bad, the way I was I would have made even the right guy wrong.
We think we need to rescue someone or be rescued when that couldn’t be further from the truth. The only rescuing that needs to be done is at a shelter. When it comes to relationships, you rescue animals, not people.
In order to be successful you need to remain focused.
You can’t focus if you are with the wrong person. When you are with the wrong person your goals as well as your self esteem suffer. Being successful isn’t easy. If you are in a relationship you want to be part of a power couple to cement your odds at becoming a huge success.
If you are in the wrong relationship you will not be able to have the support you need to build your empire. Worse yet, if you do manage to focus and you split up that wrong person can end up with half of all you worked so hard for.
Keep your eyes on your future, not some dude that isn’t right for you.
Being alone is a beautiful thing.
Being single makes a person self-sufficient. When you enter into a relationship you cannot rely too heavily on another person. Rely on yourself. That goes both ways, a person shouldn’t rely on you so much that they make you miserable. You want a loving nurturing relationship, not a suffocating one.
Your mate is a partner and you can rely on one another, but always be sure you can go it on your own too.
The healthiest relationship is one you completely enjoy.
A healthy relationship is where you can be your best self. When you have to drag another person forward with you, you may as well be wearing lead shoes while you swim. It does not work.
On the flip side, you don’t want to be the lead shoes either. You do not want to drag a person back. Imagine holding hands with someone and you are both running. You are both running along propelling each other forward faster and faster. Now imagine you are running with someone who doesn’t want to run forward but wants to sit down or even go in the opposite direction. Don’t be in a relationship like that.
This is the only life we’ve got and it happens real quick.
Don’t waste your youth in a relationship that is going nowhere or even worse, backward. Don’t spend your time polishing no turds.
If you are not married and this describes your relationship, get out of it.
If you are married, then you probably have to stick it out until the kids are grown (if you have them) and go from there. I’d say the dating pool gets smaller as you get older but I don’t think that it does. Your new relationship may just come with more baggage.
I’m not a fan of baggage, unless it’s actual baggage, in that case I like it. But emotional baggage? No thank you. I will pass.
Know what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship.
Make a list of your ideal man. Is your current mate that? Is he willing to work with you on the relationship?
When speaking with your partner, don’t broach the subject of working on your relationship negatively by just pointing out what he is doing wrong. Tell him what you need from him. Ask him what he needs from you. I’m sure he isn’t the only problem in the relationship. It takes two to make a thing go right.
I’m so far from perfect and I have been working on myself on a daily basis for as long as I can remember. I do my best and keep looking for ways to improve. When my husband and I have the occasional issue, it’s often my fault. Here’s the thing though, I’m willing to understand that, fix it and move forward.
Is he capable of becoming a better man?
If your man doesn’t want to change, you married him the way he was so if he doesn’t want to change you really can’t expect him to. You can however find the way to make him operate to the best of his abilities. You can do what he needs to help him be a better man.
I know sometimes it’s annoying when someone else seems to be the only one who is wrong in a relationship, but there are always two sides. Tip the scales in your favor and treat your man with love.
Some people are beyond help. Some people are narcissists and there is really no hope for them. A narcissist will never get help because quite simply they don’t believe they need it. If you are in a relationship with this type of person I’m sorry to inform you, they won’t change.
If your partner doesn’t want to do anything to improve your relationship, it’s because they don’t care.
I know it’s hard to hear, but if your partner consistently treats you bad it’s because he is not in love with you. I just spoke to someone who told me her husband wasn’t tending to any of her needs because he was too busy playing video games.
I asked her if he would consider stopping or at least not playing them while she was home (she is only home two weeks a month) and she told me he would not stop. That made me so sad because this man loves the video games more than his own wife. This young woman is so amazing, she is such a go getter, and such a nice person who deserves more from her man.
It’s really quite common for a couple to not actually be in love.
This person is giving the best years of her life to a man who can’t even be bothered to spend time with his wife. Don’t ever waste your youth on someone who does not love you. The signs are there, they always have been, but people choose to look the other way. If you settle for less than you deserve it’s because ultimately you don’t know your worth.
When you are in a relationship, you could eventually be starting a family. You have to choose wisely because this person will one day be the parent of your child. Or maybe the step parent of your child. Think about what you want for your children or for your future children.
This person you choose is an example for your children. The relationship you have with this person is going to be the example that your child follows in his or her own life. Do you want your child to think that having screaming matches is normal? Or to think it’s OK to talk badly about their spouse? I don’t think that you do…
A cautionary tale.
I know someone who had a very successful business. I’m talking millions, a seemingly endless supply of wealth. This person picked the wrong partner. The partner was someone who seemed as though they needed to be rescued. Today, the successful person pretty much has lost everything, makes a living, lives in squalor, and they are both completely miserable.
You can’t blame one or the other, they are both to blame. A life of poor decisions, a life in shambles, and no love. The once successful business was neglected so badly from focusing on the wrong person. It’s so sad really. If you lost your business because you were at least happy and running around being together in blind bliss at least you would have a successful relationship. But the neglect came from infidelity, abuse, and mistrust.
Cemeteries are full of people who did not live out their dreams, people who had unhappy relationships, misplaced youth. Legacies of shame are commonplace in our society.
Success is a choice.
You must choose to be successful, you must protect your time, talents, health, and body with everything you’ve got because at the end of the day, it’s all you’ve got. Do you want the wrong person to take those things away?
Mr. Right will show up, but in order to be ready for him you can’t be settling for Mr. Right now. Are you willing to wait for the man of your dreams? Have you already found him? Let me know in the comments, I would love to hear from you.
PS. Subscribe below and get my free eBooklet 12 Tips to Make a Man Fall Madly in Love With You. This eBooklet is some of my best advice, and I want YOU to have your happily ever after!
12 Tips to Make a Man Fall Madly in Love withYou
12 awesome tips to make a man fall madly in love with you! This is some of my best advice for YOU to have your happily ever after.